V.3 _ ALL HAIL THE WEASLEY KING -:

hex, jinx, and cast spell at slytherins @ 8.28.2005 - 09:59

For some reason all my programs are in chinese and it takes me forever to decipher what im clicking. So instead of exit, the icon now reads "teng1 chu1". Of course, the only way for me to navigate my way through these foreign looking characters is to memorize the format when i use another computer that is formatted in english then click the exact same buttons when im using my computer. This means that i'll be able to use an indian or french or jap software and still not get lost in Blogspot or Hotmail or Google. How very impressive, ive become billingual over the night. No i mean, multi-lingual.
Unfortunately, i would really like to revert back to the english version so are there any kind souls out there who are willing to offer me a tip or 2 on how i can format my computer so that i would be reader-friendly (peishan- friendly i should say, as im pretty sure huangjuan would be thriving in my circumstance).

Enough of random crap.

This week has been a complete hell of a roller coaster ride for me. With disgusting mood swings and behaviours that would be promptly labelled extreme insanity at IMH. Unfortunately, all my friends have to endure my constant eccentricity and wierd remarks. The cause of such behaviours is unknown. It'll be easy to attribute it to stress and overworking but im pretty sure its not just that. The crux of the problem lies elsewhere and i'm on a quest to find it. Alone, of course. For i see myself getting disgusted at the dependency of some individuals on others to emotional support, making a mountain out of a molehill when such matters are supposed to be personal. There is a reason why such hiccups in your life are termed personal problems (and not social problem)--- because it matters a whole lot to you and yourself only, but it is really trivial for other people. Whether your problem gets solved or aggravated, it would not cause a social uproar (unless you go around exaggerating your problem making it sound like the world is going to end- a symptom that ive realised many people are suffering from), but it would just affect those most dear to you (unless you dont give a damn about them). Moral of the story: BE (look) HAPPY. At least then you dont affect those people who are ever so nice to want to share your probs because they have done nothing to deserve being dragged down by your "problems" (that is if they are really their life-changing as i have come to observe that many a times such "problems" are merely self- exaggerated scenarios created to garner pity and attention.)

What a dark entry, but feel so much better for vomitting out all the crap. Seems that nowadays there are really very (if not none) that i can find to say what i really feel and bitch about all the crap in the world and not be afraid that i would offend that friend (coz he/she probably knows me well enough to judge my tone and understand my feelings). I really do miss those days in RGS, laming around with huien, prisc, liane, yn, dj and erns ... and of course, my darling yrmates too- kaix, meix, mich-es, xinyu darling... those carefree times where i dont have to care about responsibility and uphold an image. I can be who i want to be and do what i want to do, without having to face the serious consequences of my misbehaviour. But life goes on and its a path we all have to go through, i am determined to be less of a sulker and more of fighter. Rather than complain and moan that people dont understand me, i really should work towards understanding others. (: Its gonna be my aim for JC life. a huge one, but im sure i'll be able to make it~!

Seems that many of us are going through a bad patch now. I so feel like flying off to aust to give huien a big fat hug, telling her everything is gonna be alright because there would be a rainbow after the storm (or so, as what people always say). Never in my life have i been so emotionally drained (though the trip down to rj for bandaid was really did help me loads) and so desperate to turn time over again. Sometimes i wonder if i have made the wrong choices- to listen and consider the opinions of my parents before dismissing them as wanting to take control of my life, instead of rushing ahead aimlessly like an rash, blind bull. But the choices have been made and sadly, ive no time to regret. What I can only do is to make the best out of everything. Hopefully.

To: Huien (Hope you understand that it really is rather expensive to mail it over to Aust)

Huien, if you ever read this, just wanna say that i really do understand what you are going through coz ive been through it before as well too. But hang in there and im sure you will find something better happening out of all these. Hope your family is taking it well. Jiayou!

As for your younger sister syndrome, i suppose its more important for yourself to be happy with yourself. Though people (or even yourself) might see your elder sis as an over-achiever, someone who excels in everything and outshining you in every single way, but im sure you are ever so special in your very own way. There must be a reason why there are so many smart, impressive, friendly, nice and sweet girls out there and yet you are one of my very best friends (despite the fact that you are lazy, loser and a glutton). You are unique in your very own way dear (: I know it takes alot to disregard the comments of others but there are alot of other people out there who appreciate for who you are- be it your pretty side, loser side or when you look like a complete wreck. 20 yrs down the road, im sure you will be happily married with kids and all, and your husband chose you over your sister, despite the fact that you might be less "impressive" than ur sisiter. That's coz he loves you for who you really are. And im sure, many of us love you for who you really are too. (:

And yes dear, i have yet to change my underwear ;) and im not planning to. As long as you are around. :)

[RON whizzes off~]